27
November
2008

GM Like Computer Industry

by Glen Tancott

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:

“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got1,000 miles to the gallon.”

General Motors has issued a press release stating:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car XP” or “Car 2000″. But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You would press the “start ” button to shut off the engine.

27
November
2008

Baby milk melamine scare

by Chipo Nhapata

http://www.witness.co.za/index.php?showcontent&global[_id]=16631

There is no excuse for getting it wrong with baby products. Absolutely no excuse! Babies rely on formula and there is no substitute for it, so the producer just has to get it right. Nestle claims that “We have to realize that before the China crisis, no one was testing melamine.” Of course no one was testing for it because things were being done right, producers weren’t taking short-cuts like they are now.  Nestle does claim that their levels of melamine are ten times lower than the recommended levels, its expected for them to say that, the same way China claimed that the levels of melamine in the formula weren’t harmful, until they were proven wrong by the death of babies! Nestle doesn’t want to lose its loyal customers so it has to tell the public lies for now. Can producers be more human and stop taking babies’ lives on the line. As much as they are in business, where are the ethics?

27
November
2008

Gunmen in Mumbai leave scores dead; hostages taken

by Glen Tancott

Hi Everyone

If you not aware of the latest terrorist attacks in Mumbai, then click on the below link for the news article.

What’s this world coming to, or I should say come to!

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2008-11-26-india-shooting_N.htm?csp=34

This is some hot stuff!

18
November
2008

Windows 7 Error messages coming soon!

by Glen Tancott

The following are new Windows messages that are supposedly under consideration for the planned Windows 7…

  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
  • Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
  • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
  • This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
  • Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”
  • This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world. Please log off.”
  • To “shut down” your system, type “WIN”
  • BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
  • COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
  • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
  • Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
  • Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
  • WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
  • User Error: Replace user.
  • Windows VirusScan 1.0 - “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”
  • Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

Obtained from lotsofjokes.com

15
September
2008

Do you remember these Windows Systems? A nostalgic look at Windows.

by Glen Tancott

We came across this interesting trip down memory lane today and had to share it with you all. It’s just a few bits of information on past and present windows operating systems. Sweet and sour memories!!! Enjoy.

Windows 1.01 (1985)

Windows 1.01

Name: Windows 1.01.
Year Released: 1985.
System Requirements: CGA/Hercules/EGA, MS-DOS 2.0, 256 KB RAM, and 2 double-sided disk drives or a hard drive.
Still Supported? No, support ended in 2001.
Info: It included device drivers for video cards, mouse, keyboards, printers and serial communications. Windows 1.0 was designed to be a total operating system, rather than being just a graphics environment used by applications. Windows 1.0 1 could not operate without DOS.
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